today has been rather lax. so far.
i t i s m a y 5 t h.
it's cold outside, but the sky is clear. there shouldn't be any rain but the weatherman doesn't guarantee that it won't come. the trees are swaying in the breeze and i'm still excited for the minute everything turns to darkness.
in the darkness of night i can shed this shell of mine and let out my frustrations.
the scars on my thighs and on my stomach sting but i'll add to them tonight. probably. school work has begun to seem unimportant, distant, a worry that shouldn't be there.
i'm bored of school.
i'm bored of life.
i'm so tired all of the time, and my writing suffers because of it. i haven't written anything in a long time. but maybe i'll try writing today.
i was diagnosed, earlier, with borderline personality disorder. it's a real bitch.
everything sucks.
i know i once said that this would be a blog for dead ideas and dead dreams - but i should have said it would be about the 'dead me'.
oh well, i'm pretty sure there isn't anyone reading this. i'm not worried. but just in case there is someone reading this blog:
i'm not planning suicide again - i'm not willing to go back to that psych ward; nor am i desperate enough to try and fail again.
i just feel like crap. as usual.
anyways, i'm going to take a nap. again.
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