don't leave me alone

i t ' s  a p r i l  2 6 t h

 

life still sucks. the skies are still grey and i haven't made much improvement since i last posted. maybe the drugs aren't working? maybe i have a high-tolerance in regards to drugs? maybe i should just stop speculating.

 

i needed a distraction today. it was either that or i attempt to kill myself. i got the feeling that it would be a good time to die.

 

i made it in time to go to a friends house. they were good listeners.

 

i hope they don't mind that i'm talking about my depression but i trust them.

 

regardless, i just want to die. my depression isn't getting any better. i swear i'm going to die at some point. maybe even before these two weeks are up.

 

i'm trying not to. i'm trying to 'have hope', to 'be brave' and to 'stay strong' but it's hard. really hard.

 

i despise this.