i t ' s a p r i l 2 2 n d
the sky is dark again, it's going to rain. maybe storm. school's back in. easter was boring - family-time is never something to be fond of. especially when family-time consists of conversations that usually take a turn for the worse. so in other words, i was depressed this weekend. it was kind of horrible but i guess i'm kind of used to it by now.
ah, anyways. today is the day i'm supposed to go to the doctor's to get diagnosed. supposedly i'll be cured if i do this? or things will get better? i'm told all the time that i need to get help. they don't want me to die - the people who tell me this - and i can't help but wonder if that's the truth.
regardless, i'm to go to the doctor's and see what he has to say. will i be diagnosed with depression, social anxiety and bi-polar disorder? i don't know. i've taken these self-tests that all seem to point towards my having depression, bi-polar disorder and social anxiety so maybe that'll help convince him. ha!
wouldn't it be funny if i did all of this for nothing?
so there's not much to say today. just that today is very inelegant. it's an ugly day, and i'm afraid to tell this doctor what's been happening lately. some people have suggested i tell the counsellor but should i? i'm afraid of it going into my school documents and then university's shying away from the possibility of a mental case.
argh! too much stress. there's also the fact that i hate talking to new people - seriously. strangers terrify me because first impressions are hard. they'll judge me the minute they see or speak to me. it's hard wanting to talk to someone with something like that on your mind.
anyways, there's not much to talk about at the moment. maybe i'll get back to you after my appointment. yea?
right then.
No comments:
Post a Comment